Sunday, March 14, 2010

The Race Day that Wasn't

I didn't get to run in the race.  

I got stuck in a traffic jam on the way to the race, and because I don't know that part of the city well, I didn't know what I could do to get out of the traffic jam. 

The race had long started by the time I got to the starting line.  I cut through and went to the finish line to find the aforementioned coach Juda.  I hugged her, and the rest of the folks from the group that I could find, and then I went home.  

All day today, I've been upset with myself.  I worked so hard, and missed the race because of a traffic jam.  I let myself down, and I feel like I let my friends down too.  All of you have been cheering me on, and I didn't run.  (I've had cheerleaders from many states and Germany and Korea!)  I realize that I'm not a failure, but I feel like I failed on this one.  I was reading some of the comments from you guys saying, "you will do this," yada yada yada, and, I didn't.

However, if I don't keep running, if I let this derail me, that's letting me down, that's letting you down, that's letting my coach down.  

So, I'm trying not to derail myself.  I need someone to shame me into going for a run on Monday morning.  There is a race on 3/27, that I may run.  Dana and I are probably running the Race for the Cure on 5/9.

So, I give you permission to give me a hard time tomorrow, and to get me running again.  

Monday, March 01, 2010

The Long Overdue Running Update

I just realized that it's been weeks since I posted anything!  

Due to Snowmageddon II and III, I lost a week of February.  The sidewalk to the gym wasn't plowed, and I'm pretty sure it was closed for all of Snowmageddon.  I did some cross training, and I shoveled my car out twice, so I was being active, but not running.  

It's getting warmer in Baltimore, so I don't have to bundle up to run, which has been wonderful.  There were some nights where I was wearing my mask that I bought for ice fishing.  For awhile, the wind was pretty bad.  

I'm doing really well with the training group from Charm City Run.  Juda, the trainer, is a saint beyond all words. She is incredibly patient with me.  I am always the last one to finish, and she's always waiting for me in the parking lot, cheering me on.  I've never felt like a burden, even though I probably am.  

Today, if my math is right, I did a mile at 18:35, which for me is a personal best in this whole process.  Maybe finishing in 50 minutes isn't such an insane goal!   

However, the most shocking thing that has happened in all of this happened to me on Saturday.  I was on my couch, under my awesome quilt, and I really didn't want to get up and run.  So, I posted the following as my Facebook status: "Dear Anita, Please go and run. Love, Your will power."  I then had a flurry of responses from Doug, Tauna, Julia, Christy, and Lauren M., encouraging me to run.  I am telling you, that run was sponsored by them.  Then on Monday, I posted on Facebook that I was thinking about running another 5K in May or June.  My friend Joanna commented on my status: "you're my fitness hero."  I cried when I read that.  I have never been someone's fitness hero.  Just typing that got me choked up again.  When I went out for my run today, all of those voices were in my head, saying, "Anita, you can do this."  I can do this.  And on March 14, I will cross the finish line.  And it will be awesome.